Lost
by Falcner
Summary: Derek Morgan comes back. Spencer Gets him to talk. Implied relationship at end nothing serious. Might be OOC. One shot.


The night wound itself around the lone figure and shielded him from prying eyes. His brown skin melded with the shadows and made him seem like them. He wore no coat and the warm wind proclaimed it was summer time; he had been so long he had almost forgotten what season it was here. The dark jeans and tight fitting black t-shirt he wore showed that he was trim and fit, abs running down to his stomach and jeans hanging low off of swinging hips showing strong, limber legs that could wrap someone easily. Coming to a seeming rundown apartment he paused and looked longingly at the front door. Wanted to knock but fear and apprehension held him back, would the same person live there or would a stranger answer the door, take a look at him and shut it in his face. He wanted to walk away but found himself walking forward instead, his legs growing a mind of their own. Climbing the stairs took effort, he tried to make himself stop but his body wasn't his anymore, a stranger had taken it over and was making him do things he didn't, yet wanted to do. A hand came up and knocked on the wooden door, the sound reverberating into the room.

"Who is it?" a hesitant voice called out. Paper rustled and a book was dropped on the ground.

His knees almost collapsed from under him, he had wanted to hear that voice for so long now.

"Who is it?" the person said again. The sound of locks clicking open could be heard. Then the door was swung open but the way was still barred by a deadbolt chain. "Oh my God," the person breathed, unhitching the deadbolt and opening the door. His lithe frame was taught with tension and his knuckles were turning white where he gripped the doorknob. "Derek is that you?"

"Yeah, Spence it's me," Derek answered. He turned his face to the side and watched out of the side of them as Reid's eyes began filling with tears. Damn the BAU.

Spencer Reid opened his mouth to say something smart then snapped it shut realizing he had nothing to say. Then opened it again when he thought of a question. "Where have you been?"

"I…" he started to say then paused. He should tell him everything was okay and leave it at that but something told him to tell Reid the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help him God. "Can we talk inside, please?" he finally asked.

Spencer nodded and let the older man in, firmly closing the door and relatching it. "What do you need to talk about, Derek?" he asked as he turned around and closed his eyes. When he opened them he thought it was a bad idea to have closed them in the first place. Derek Morgan stood not even a hairsbreadth from where he stood. The door to Spencer's back was really the only thing keeping him up.

Turning his gaze on the man he had loved for more than five years he realized he didn't know what to say to him. The whole way here, the walk, the turning around and going back to the corner just to start walking in this direction again, the whole conversation in his head, now he realized was just a waste of time. All the prep in the world hadn't prepared him for the sight of his long-term crush. He was gripping the handle of the door like it was his lifeline and his eyes followed every move Derek made. "Reid I know you probably don't want to see me, hell I probably wouldn't want to see myself, but could you listen please? Before you kick me out?" he said.

"Why would I kick you out?" the young genius asked, screwing up his eyebrows in concentration.

"You look like you don't want to talk to me and I can't say I blame ya'." the black shadow said, hooking his hands behind his back and standing a foot away.

"I do want to talk to you, I just don't know what to say," the brown haired man stuttered, stepping closer and decreasing the space the other had.

"Wow, Spencer Reid with an I.Q. of 187 is lost for words, should I record this day and remember it?" the shadow teased.

Jumping slightly when the man stepped even closer Morgan felt blood rush in his veins, awake and molten hot. He was so close yet so far away. "Reid, please talk to me."

"Where have you been?" Spencer Reid asked again. His eyes took in the ragged state of the tee and the frays on the cuffs of the jeans; the hole that was almost imperceptible to the human eye whose location was the butt of Derek's jean pocket.

Derek took a shuddering deep breath, sat on the couch, and pulled Reid down before he started telling him everything. "I didn't leave, I was fired."

"We know, Garcia hacked and "accidentally" found out about it," Reid said with quotations around the accidentally part.

"Did it say why?"

Reid shook his head.

"Remember that last case? The one in LA and you were almost killed again?" Morgan waited until Spencer had nodded to continue. "I thought it was just the stress and that I needed a break from the job so when we got back to the hotel I asked Hotch for a break and he said take as much time as I needed. So I went down to Chicago and bummed around with my family and it still wasn't going away and I didn't know what else to do and then I had work and one day I blurted it out in front of Hotch and he said he had to tell Strauss and I told him no, that I could handle it and that it could be stress and, and, Hotch said it wasn't stress and that he either needed to tell Strauss or I was fired on the spot and then he would have to tell Strauss the reason he fired one of his best agents. I walked out and got fired. I went to Chicago and stayed with my mother for a little bit then traveled down to Florida to stay with my aunts and then I decided it was time to come back here."

"Morgan," Reid said quietly. When he didn't look he placed two fingers under his shadow's chin and turned his head so he could see his doe brown eyes. "What happened?"

"I'm losing my eyesight."

Reid gave a little gasp and covered his mouth with his hand.

"Yeah, I didn't believe either until my doctor actually said it. He called it an early onset of glaucoma and that I had another year at the most to be able to see. He said that soon I might just be seeing shadows of the items that used to be color. He said some other stuff too but I don't remember it all."

"Shapes, then shadows, then nothing." Spencer pondered the news a little before asking, "You quit then disappeared. Why?"

"I didn't know how to tell you guys that I might lose my sight. I don't think that I could take the looks that I would get from the team. Garcia would try to baby me and Prentiss would baby step around me, and JJ. JJ would treat me like a kid, I didn't want that and I don't now." he took a deep breath and raked a hand over his head. "I don't know how I would survive without my sight, as a profiler that's what we rely on is our sight. We need it to see how the suspects hold themselves, their eyes, body language and all of the other things we do. How am I going to that if I can't see?"

Reid had remained silent as the older man had ranted; now he spoke. "Derek, listen to me very carefully okay?" Derek nodded and so he continued. "We tell the team, whether one at a time or all together and explain that you do not want to be mollycoddled for the rest of your life because that is my job. We will get through this. Ever since Rossi retired three years ago the team needs another profiler who knows the things you do. We'll talk to Hotch and see what he can do. But you cannot give up, you cannot complain it's too hard and you cannot ever leave again for that long," Reid muttered softly to the shadow on the couch.

Derek Morgan looked at the man he held in his arms and wondered how on earth he was this lucky. He had a man in his life who loved him for him, failing eyesight and all, who held and comforted him when things got bad and who didn't mind that he sometimes sounded like a three year old having a temper tantrum. A smile lit his face until he saw Reid's face fall. "What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking that if you lose your eyes how would we have sex?"

Morgan grinned wolfishly. "I'm sure there's a way to do that, want to try now?"

Reid took off in the direction of the bedroom with a very sexy black man in hot pursuit.


End file.
